Heart on the Sleeve
by rhiiminee
Summary: Toudou has no problem letting you know how he feels, but Makishima does.


**Notes:** This fic is dedicated to my best friend, Stephanie, who helped me immensely in getting the voice of Toudou Jinpachi. She also acted as my beta. Thank you again~!

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Jinpachi has always worn his heart on his sleeve. You are never in doubt of his emotions. In that way he's something like Onoda, who, I think, is very much in awe of him. I think it's safe to say I'm a bit in awe of him myself. It's just hard to ever say anything.

I'm far from emotive. I can't even smile properly when someone _tells_ me to smile; it comes off as creepy and makes people want to run away.

Jinpachi didn't run away. He stayed. He became a constant fixture in my life. Texts, calls, an endless chorus of Maki-chans. I pretended to hate it. I pretended not to want to engage him. It just made him hang on harder. He wasn't going anywhere, he seemed to say.

In the days leading up to my departure to England for university and my brother, he never once let on that he was sad. Neither did I. I didn't want to, but I was pretty sure I couldn't, anyway. How do you detail to someone how you really feel about them when you're someone who can barely make small talk with your kouhai? It's simply not possible.

At the airport, he said to me, "I'll miss you, Maki-chan. Please remember to text me, or else!"

"Or else" meant a barrage of texts, emails and phone calls if I failed to comply with his wishes. I smiled a real smile. Those smiles were rare, of course, but they were starting to be more common with him.

Truthfully, they became even more common - and so did blushing - when we would text each other. It even made my brother ask if I had a boyfriend I neglected to tell him about. That made me blush and stammer, which delighted him. Jinpachi was also delighted by my embarrassment, it seemed. I made my excuses and put my phone away.

Over the next few weeks, I didn't text him but the promised demands of contact never came. I guessed he was as busy as me, helping at his family's hotel and likely chasing down his former teammates with warnings to eat properly. That thought made me smile. More teasing from my brother commenced.

"Why don't you just _tell_ him how you feel?" he asked as I picked up my phone to tell Jinpachi I was sorry for my silence.

"Eh?" I stared at him. "Are you crazy?" I paused. Then, "Anyway, how would I even begin?"

"Ah, let niisan help!"

"I don't want to."

"Yuusuke, come _on_."

My brother and Jinpachi would get along quite well. He did a pretty satisfactory pout. Jinpachi had pouted at me once and I begged him never to do it again. I couldn't handle it. I had felt too much. I didn't know what to do with those emotions.

"Are you still in there, Yuusuke?" A tap on my forehead made me furrow my eyebrows. "Thinking about him again, huh?"

"What? Don't be stupid!"

"_You_ don't be stupid. Book a flight for August and go see him. You wanted to go to the Inter High anyway, didn't you? Tell him that's the reason you're coming."

I faltered. "He wouldn't like that."

"You have to tell him you love him in person."

I stared at him, hesitating more.

"Maybe being in London has made me more free with saying things about emotions, but Yuusuke, now's the time before somebody else wants him. Didn't you say he has fans?"

"Yeah." I felt that stirring of jealousy I didn't like. "He won't shut up about them."

"From the sounds of it, he doesn't shut up about much."

I smiled, immediately rewarded with a smirk.

"If you don't tell him, I'll steal your phone and text it to him myself. Then you won't be able to take it back."

"I -"

"_Yuusuke_."

"_Fine_." I knew when my battle was lost and of course, it was probably about time I confessed even if my brain was screaming at me not to. I ignored it and booked my flight.

Later, I told Jinpachi and he was elated. I told him about my brother's ideas for turning my so-called sense of style into a fashion line and he was even more thrilled. I was pretty sure he was bouncing off the walls when I promised to bring him a purple sequined headband after he told me purple was a "hot color."

We texted every day until my flight left. My brother gave me a pep talk before I left and threatened for the thousandth time that he would phone Jinpachi himself if I didn't tell him. I knew he wasn't only trying to pressure me. He _would_ follow through.

x

I'm at the airport and the telltale sound of racing footsteps alert me to Jinpachi's arrival. He leaps on me and spins us around.

"Welcome baaack!" He grins, face slightly flushed. I try to control the emotions again. I note he isn't wearing a headband. He's somehow _more_ attractive without it, which is not fair to anybody.

I smile at him and a funny look crosses his face. "Thanks ..." I reply vaguely.

He hugs me tightly. "I missed you!"

I consider this, then state, "I missed you too." Cue an awkward pat on the back from me.

He is utterly pleased, I can tell. He pulls away and touches my road racer's handlebars. "Can I walk this out to the van for you?"

"That would probably be best."

He's amused. "Come on."

He leads the way out because he's accustomed to leading the way everywhere. Soon we reach a purple and white van. Suddenly it dawns on me. "... Did you _buy_ a van?"

"Yes! It's _very_ useful and with a little paint it's at least a _little_ beautiful." He beams proudly at the van, loading my bike in.

I sigh. "How did you -" I sigh again, deciding it doesn't even matter how.

"How did I what?"

I shake my head. "It was a stupid question," I say as I take out my phone to text Kinjou and Tadokoro that I've arrived and will call later.

He pouts thoughtfully (so much for his promise) and then shrugs. "So ... to your parents' place, then?"

I want to tell him I want to spend time with him and it doesn't matter where I go, but that's not what comes out of my mouth at all. "They called when I had a layover in Berlin. They're away for 3 days, but left the key in the usual place."

"Oh~!" He smiles and opens the passenger door for me. I bite back a comment about how I don't need chivalry and get in. He sails around the van and climbs in too. Immediately, he holds up a 7-11 bag temptingly as he starts the van. "Got you some things you might've been missing~!"

I smile again, grateful for his friendship if nothing else. "Thanks _again_, Jinpachi. I was going to ask."

He shakes his head, pulling out of the airport parking lot and heading off toward my parents' place. "My pleasure. Do they have good things in London, though?"

"Yeah. I brought a couple things for you to try. Mostly unhealthy things ..."

He grins. "You're the best."

"Don't tell your old teammates."

He laughs; his health kick is legendary. "They'd never let me hear the end of it!"

"I know. I'll keep your secret."

"I can always count on you." He smiles happily, eyes on the red light in front of us.

I nod and then look out the window. I need a change of subject and fast. I can feel my resolve crumbling. "I've missed Japan." Pause. "I don't regret going to England, but there's a lot about here that I miss ..."

His response is quiet just as the light turns green and we can get underway again. "There's a lot here that misses you, too."

It seems somehow significant and I'm immediately struck with an idea. "You should stay at my parents' place with me. You drove all the way here."

"Really?"

"Really. I don't think they would mind. You've stayed there before."

He smiles. "And you wouldn't mind?"

"I'm inviting you, aren't I?"

"Oh, good point!" He beams again. He's ridiculously happy all the time.

I smile yet again and look out the window, while he practically emits delight as he proceeds to speed along the streets, probably pretending he's on a road racer. He's singing along with some idol pop song on the radio.

"By the _way,_" he says suddenly, "your four-eyed friend is still going around _infecting_ everyone with the song from that weird anime he likes so much."

I can't help but laugh. "Ah, do you expect me to _stop _him? That song helped Tadokorocchi!" Right when he needed it most, I silently add.

He rolls his eyes, smiling. "No, I just thought you should know."

"He's grown on you, hasn't he?"

"He's a good boy. He texts me sometimes, and he told me I look like an anime character, which I'm assuming is high praise from him, so I appreciate it."

"I think that means you're pretty." Of course Onoda can tell Jinpachi something I've wanted to tell him for a long time.

"Naturally." He flicks his hair back.

"You really don't need any compliments ..."

"What are you talking about? Compliments should always be given when deserved!"

"No one can tell you anything you don't already know!" Like, this is the reason I don't compliment him!

"So? It's still nice to hear!"

"I guess, but I don't really understand. Isn't it boring after a while?" Maybe I'm fishing for a comment about how his fans bore him now and he's looking for something a little different.

"Boring?" He sounds like this is the dumbest thing he's ever heard. "How could it be boring?"

"Eh? How could it _not_ be?"

"It feels good to be admired and praised. I could never get bored of it, and I work hard to make sure I keep deserving it."

He certainly does. "Ah" is my most intelligent response.

"Do you think it's stupid?"

"No. I just never thought of it that way." _Nothing about you is stupid_, I want to say.

"Don't you like it when people praise you?"

Honesty time. "Well ... I find it weird when they do."

"I've noticed. You shouldn't, though! You're beautiful and talented and amazing, Maki-chan."

This is far more than I can take. "Hah?! Don't say things like that!"

"But they're true things! The truth should always be spoken!"

"Jinpa_chi_ ..." I wonder how I can feel this way about someone who lives so loudly, but maybe this just means he's exactly what I need. I mean, it _feels_ that way.

"Maki-_chan_," he admonishes me back.

"Sometimes it's _hard_ for people to speak the truth."

"Well, then, it's up to me to tell you, isn't it?"

Can you read my mind, then, so I don't have to tell you how I feel or not do it and then force my brother to? I try desperately not to sound fond now. "When you put it like that, I guess it is."

He beams, pleased. "I'll always make sure you know how special you are, Maki-chan."

I give him a look that is somewhere between pleased and dismayed. How is it possible to be so candid?

He grins as he turns onto the road my parents' house is on. I can't help but smile.

"Here we are!" He says in a triumphant sort of tone as he parks in the driveway. "Home sweet home~"

A soft, wonderful happiness falls over me. "Good to be home."

He's all smiles, of course, as we both get out of his newest pride and joy. He gets my road racer and I fetch my suitcase. It takes me a few minutes to locate the key, but soon we're in the foyer.

He sighs heavily. "I didn't know I'd be staying so I didn't bring my bike! How foolish of me!"

"Could you call for it to be delivered?"

"Maybe. Or I can drive out and back tomorrow." He shrugs, over it already. "That is the beauty of owning a van, Maki-chan!" That happy smile is back.

"That's a long drive."

"I don't mind if it means I can ride with you sooner~!"

My face is so, so, so hot. "We could borrow one from the school."

"Don't be silly, ride some random bike? I think _not_."

"It was a thought." I give him a one shoulder shrug as I take in the home that will always be mine no matter what. "Maybe I missed home more than I thought," I add after a while.

He puts a hand on my shoulder. I look back at him and he's giving me the softest of smiles.

"I ... missed you a lot." I blink. Hastily, I add, "Because I missed racing you." I can't say it _yet_.

His laugh is soft. "I missed you too."

"Didn't replace me with a new rival?

"That's impossible."

"You're talking crazy."

"No, _you_ are. How could anyone ever replace you in my life, Maki-chan? It's nonsense!"

"You always speak so _frankly_ ..." Will I ever be able to?

"Like I _said_, the truth is beautiful and there's no need to hide it!"

"You think everything's beautiful ..."

"How long are we going to stay in the foyer?"

"Ah, come on ..." I say, waving my hand for him to follow me. "Are you hungry?"

He says something, but I'm not really paying attention. I'm falling into those eyes. It feels like my body is going to move of his own accord, and it seems to do just that as I raise a hand to brush his hair back. That stops him in mid-sentence. We stare at each other. What do I do now? What do we _do_?

A little voice, that actually sounds a lot like Kinjou, says _so what are you afraid of?_

Then suddenly I'm kissing him right there in my mother's shining modern kitchen. It's amazing what your friend/former captain can do for your love life. Later, I might hug Kinjou in a burst of gratitude he doesn't _exactly_ deserve and he'll stare at me, not getting it. I won't explain either.

An explosion happens in my head and body when I realize Jinpachi's kissing me back, driving out all rational - and irrational - thought. All I can process is the feeling of his lips against mine.

Soon we need to breathe and he looks at me, eyes half-lidded.

"It's about time, Yuusuke," he says.

**end.**


End file.
